Recently, while pedaling along Mississippi Delta roads with hundreds of other cyclists, I considered how we were more than just individuals on a ride—we were part of a ‘tribe.’ This sense of belonging and connection is something that extends beyond cycling, reflecting a deeper human need to form communities based on shared interests. But what happens when these ‘tribes’ begin to divide us?
Easily recognizable on our two wheels, wearing high-visibility lycra and helmets atop our heads, we cyclists looked out for one another. It’s customary when riding in groups to alert fellow cyclists to road hazards and approaching vehicles. But this day there was also a sense of connection and care. I pulled over once to make sure my rear light was on and a passing cyclist quickly asked, “Are you okay?” And I did the same down the road, making sure a few cyclists on the shoulder didn’t need anything. All along the way we were smiling and acknowledging one another.
I’m in another such community when I drive my Jeep. The Jeep wave is a real phenomenon, holding up two fingers to acknowledge a fellow Jeep driver. When I’m at Jeep events there’s a similar camaraderie as the bike events, connecting around this shared interest. Riding in a different kind of vehicle I sometimes catch myself accidentally waving at a passing Jeep, but, of course, in that moment the Jeep driver doesn’t know I’m in the ‘tribe’ and there’s no wave back.
As I pedaled through the Delta, I began to think about how, once the ride ended and our cycling gear was put away, the connection between us might fade. Without our shared identifiers, my fellow cyclists and I might no longer recognize each other as part of the same ‘tribe.’ Instead, we could easily retreat into different, even opposing, communities, defined by other interests, beliefs, or appearances. This realization made me wonder how often we allow our ‘tribes’ to divide us, when in reality, we share much more in common.
I wondered what it would be like if all of us humans just behaved as a community, despite the perceived ‘tribes’ of others? What if we looked out for one another, making sure each other is okay, offering support when needed? What if we truly noticed one another? Not our perceived differences, but our actual similarities. Because most of us want pretty much the same thing. Most of us want for ourselves and our loved ones to be safe and secure, to be healthy, to be happy. What if we could recognize that common humanity in others, particularly in the others that we ‘other?’
A few weeks ago I passed a man in an aisle of a store. The first thing I noticed before seeing him was his t-shirt. It was a politically-themed shirt that was annoying to me. In such circumstances, I usually ignore the person. But this time, I thought about how I typically acknowledge most people I pass by, even with just a nod. I live in the American South and that’s a common custom. I asked myself why wouldn’t I acknowledge him too? So I intentionally made eye contact with him and was able to see a fellow human, not just a wearer of a t-shirt, not merely a member of some other ‘tribe.’ We both nodded and said “hello” and went our separate ways.
It was just a simple and insignificant exchange, but for me, it offered an unexpected moment of spaciousness in acknowledging a fellow human rather than bracing myself against them. A moment of remembering I am in a ‘tribe’ with all of humanity, not just the ones like me.
As I reflect on these experiences, I’m reminded that the ‘tribes’ we often cling to are largely of our own making. While shared interests and experiences can create meaningful connections, they can also blind us to the fundamental similarities we share with all of humanity.
Moving forward, I’m challenging myself to actively look beyond the surface—to see past the labels and symbols that so often define our ‘tribes.’ Instead, I want to recognize the shared humanity in everyone I meet. I invite you to take on this challenge with me. The next time we find ourselves in a moment of potential ‘othering,’ let’s pause and consider: What do I share with this person? How can I connect with them, even in a small way? Whether it’s through a smile, a nod, or a simple “hello,” let’s take these small steps to break down the barriers between our ‘tribes’ and rediscover our common humanity.