Recently a work crew has been going through my neighborhood trimming limbs away from power lines. As they neared my house they put up a very prominent orange and black sign with the warning, “Be Prepared to Stop.” They’ve since moved on but the sign remains, offering an ongoing reminder to me of this message each time I look out my front window.
I’ve considered how maybe this is an important message beyond watching out for the chainsawing bucket truck dropping limbs on the street below. Rather than one phrase all together I take it as separate lines now:
Be.
Prepared.
To Stop.
The first word of the sign, “Be,” reminds me to Be in the present, Be in this moment right here, and Be in this next moment that’s here now. Sometimes I use the platitude with others about how we are “Human Beings” rather than “Human Doings.” It’s a phrase guaranteed to elicit an eye roll from 7 out of 10 people (my made-up statistic), but like most cliches there’s truth to it. What keeps so many of us in constant motion and away from being present with ourselves and our lives? What’s driving the constant doing and constant distraction? Sure, we live busy lives. But how much of the busyness do we choose, perhaps subconsciously? Some people derive a sense of worthiness from always doing. Some experience anxieties when not doing. Perhaps difficult thoughts and emotions arise when there’s not a lot going on. But constant motion, constant doing, is not sustainable for a healthy, fulfilling life. As hard as it is to accept, the To-Do List of life is never really going to be completed. So just maybe it’s ok to spend some time Being also. We have a plethora of To-Do Lists, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a To-Be List. I guess it would be a short list with only one little action item: Be.
Meditation teacher and author, Tara Brach, tells the story of a woman with a terminal illness. Others asked the woman what all she had on her bucket list as, unlike all of us who also have limited time left, she had a sense of how limited her time actually was. Rather than focusing on what all she wanted to do before dying she simply said, “There’s no time to rush.” I’ve always remembered that story as a great reminder of the deep quality of Being over Doing.
The next word of the sign, “Prepared,” is a prompt suggesting to me to be ready, to be equipped, to be willing, creating the conditions for Being. As I write this, my area of the Deep South is awaiting a surge of Arctic weather that much of the U.S. has already experienced. Sub-freezing temperature is not something common here, so we have to take extra heed. I’ve been creating the conditions for protection and comfort for my home, my dog, and myself: wrapping water pipes, bringing in vulnerable plants, assuring I have plenty of propane for my little camp stove shall we lose electricity and I need coffee, and making a big nourishing pot of vegetable soup to last throughout the freeze. I know if I walk into the grocery store right now the shelves are likely empty of bread, water, and canned goods with the area-wide preparation for this weather event. What if we prepared for Being the way we do for an Arctic blast?
But truly, being ready, willing, and equipped for Being doesn’t have to be nearly so dramatic. Mindfulness meditation is a great practice of creating the conditions for Being. If mindfulness is Being, meditation helps us get there and helps us build the capacity to hangout there a little longer. That anxiety with not doing, the difficult thoughts and emotions that arise, the story of not being worthy or of not having time to stop doing, all of that will arise in meditation practice. But overtime we’re able to change our relationship to this ongoing changing flow of internal experiences and not be so thrown by it all. We can watch the rising and falling, ebbing and flowing, pushing and pulling, but not be caught up in it. And as we get a clearer, more expansive view of what keeps us in motion; the stories, the anxieties, the internal and external pressures; we can more skillfully manage them and create more space for Being.
The final phrase on the sign, “To Stop,” I see as a reminder to stop hanging on, to let go. I have a magnet on my freezer with the phrase, “Let go or be dragged.” Pretty funny, but also pretty true. So many times in my life I couldn’t seem to let go, even when it was apparent I was getting road rash from being dragged. I think the fear of the unfamiliar, the unknown, is what keeps us hanging on to things/people/circumstances that don’t serve us anymore. And often we don’t really have conscious awareness that we’re so attached to some thing, some view, some way of being and that it is hindering us.
I had a fear of water throughout much of my life. It wasn’t until I was in my 30’s that I finally learned to swim. And I remember the moment it clicked was the moment I let go. And I have since taken to the water like I was born in it. I let go of the old story I always told myself that I couldn’t swim and would never learn, I let go of control and chose to trust my teacher, and I literally let go of the side of the pool and let the water hold me. Had that moment of letting go not happened, I wouldn’t have swam in the Pacific Ocean, I wouldn’t have acquired a kayak and immersed in many wondrous waterways up close and personal, I wouldn’t be a volunteer for Pearl Riverkeeper helping keep the Pearl River clean and safe for recreating, and I wouldn’t have have met lots of cool people and had a host of other great experiences. But most of all, I wouldn’t have known that I could overcome that limiting fear and thrive in the very thing I was scared of. I know many are afraid of their internal experiences, afraid of what arises in stillness, afraid of the stories that limit them. But we can loosen our grip on these things and learn they have no substance. Yes, there is a letting go with meditation. But I promise you can come on in, the water is fine.
So as I look out my window a final time before the sun sets, this big, bold road sign remains, offering a message to me probably quite different than what the sign maker and work crew intended. If it remains much longer I may request a little modification and suggest they rearrange the words to say, “Stop. Prepare to Be.”
If you have any curiosity about mindfulness meditation, consider joining me for one of my upcoming intro classes where you’ll have the opportunity to stop and become prepared to be.